I'm in the midst of what is a prime example of being up to my eyeballs in....everything. So I'm posting now, at 12:49AM on a Thursday night/Friday morning, to show what it's like before it's all been resolved. And we are far from 'resolved' at the moment. Here's a rundown:
- C sustained a concussion at his football game on Monday. They're taking sports concussions very seriously these days (that's a good thing), so we're looking at days of monitoring before he can resume normal activities.
- Because of the concussion, he had to sit on the sidelines of today's game. I'm sad because he's sad. But I'm also torn between understanding why he wants to stand with his teammates, and thinking that I could be doing something better than sitting in the stands at a game he's not even playing in.
- C has a concert at a host school an hour away tomorrow night. We can't find the dress shirt he needs to bring to school tomorrow. It might be in his locker. So it's early up for everyone tomorrow, to see if the shirt is there. If it is, it will come back home to be washed, dried, ironed and brought back to the school before I leave for work. And then, after work, there's an hour ride to the concert (which I really can't wait to see), and the hour drive back.
- Little E had a Cub Scout pack meeting tonight. That would be pretty benign if I weren't the pack's committee chair and partially responsible for running the thing. All of the scouts who earned belt loops and pins over the summer received their awards tonight. It was about a 5 minute affair - for them. For me, it took days to put everything together. I'm absolutely not complaining. That's what it's all about for the scouts. But it's been my focus for most of the week and, now that it's over so quickly, the inertia has left me kind of twitchy.
- E also has his last soccer game of the season tomorrow night. Yup, in conflict with his brother's concert. Being the little one, he's been so used to being dragged to his brother's commitments. But we decided to leave it up to him this time, and he wanted to play in the last game. So he's taking the bus home with a friend who is on his soccer team and the parents (our good friends) are going to get him there and then hold on to him until we get home. I trust them, of course, but it's something very much out of the ordinary, so it leaves me a little unsettled. Plus, we're missing his last game.
- The weekend involves a funeral, a Scouting event, a Halloween party, a sleepover and a science project.
I'm sure, after this weekend, when I can breathe again, I will have some neat and tidy thoughts about having gone the latest round with this whirlwind I call my life. To my future self, I give the big, fat finger, because you're too serene and calm and, frankly, I'm jealous at the moment. Or maybe I'm just cranky and tired. At times like these I live by seven words that have become a precious mantra: I will miss this when it's gone.
And there you have it. Nothing tricky, nothing special. Take plain, old, ordinary anxiety with some self-induced exhaustion added in, temper it with hope and wrap it up in love. That's how it's done.